For many professional women, the concept of work/life balance is a myth. There never seems to be enough time to balance self-care, caring for your household and having a full-time job. It’s particularly true for primary caregivers with small kids, a role many mothers find themselves in. In some cultures, traditional norms discourage a man from helping with childcare and household duties. This leaves the woman exhausted in body and weary in mind – a perfect recipe for stress, lifestyle diseases and pent-up frustration. 

There’s no other way to say it; at whatever stage in life you are, or whatever job you do right now, you’re doing it in a human body that needs nourishment, rest and recovery. It’s not a cultural thing. It’s not a gender-based decision. You have a human body that needs to be treated with care, or it will break down. 

The first step to work/life balance is understanding and accepting that it is a responsibility, not just a right. How would you answer the question below: 

Do you believe you have a right or a responsibility to take time for yourself? 

Your answer is probably reflected in your reality. If you think it’s just a right, it’s optional, and you probably give it up quickly. You might be weary and overworked, trying to do it alone. It’s also probably the case that there is little delegation in your household – not to your spouse or your children. 

If you consider self-care a responsibility, you will find ways to lovingly, quietly, but stubbornly take the time for yourself. You might also have broached the subject of delegation of duties and even handed off the children to your spouse so you can go for a walk or take an afternoon to have lunch with a friend. 

The point is that our lived reality of work/life balance often depends on how we value the concept in the first place. 

Here are a couple of tips for achieving work/life balance:

1. Understand that work/life balance is a responsibility you have to yourself. That way, when you take time for yourself, there will be zero guilt.
2. Understand that work/life balance looks different for everyone. When my kids were small, my husband and I rarely left them to go out on dates since we did not have any family we could leave them with and could not afford a babysitter. Our downtime consisted of getting them to bed early and putting our feet up with a shared bottle of wine. 
3. Set boundaries around work and let those around you know about it. I don’t work on Saturdays – all my clients know that. I don’t answer emails or texts or engage on social media on my day off. Sometimes, I turn off my phone altogether. And I sleep on that day without an alarm or obligation. I often find that the extent to which I switch off helps me feel more refreshed than if I had not put any effort into it. 
4. Consider the concept of counterbalance: Counterbalance, as presented by Gary Keller in The One Thing, is what you do when, despite your best efforts, work/life balance is not possible. If you are setting up your business or in the middle of a very demanding project, taking your regularly scheduled time for self-care might not be possible. Work for as long as you can, but try to hold the other balls in the air at the same time. Don’t go too long without doing the other important things: taking care of your family, spending time with your spouse, going for a walk at least twice a week, and calling your elderly parents when there is a break in your project schedule. 

Finally, you have to be rebellious about self-care. Life will try to take up all your time. Retreat to the quiet, stubborn part of you that refuses to give up your soul for anyone. That is an excellent place to carve out work/life balance.